well hello there!

i think about blogging and my blog a lot but those posts never leave my head and make it on the "pages" of my blog. i often wondered if blogging was just a phase or fad i went through {you know because a while back everybody and their brother had a blog} and maybe that's why i started blogging but lately i miss it. so, here i am...back to blogging!

it's been over a year since i blogged {16 months, to be exact} so i almost feel like i should just start over! hi, i'm amy and i'm married to joel. we've been married for 4 1/2 years and have one fur baby, paisley. we're both working really hard to get healthier and want to have children someday soon {sooner rather than later, that's for sure}! we've just been plugging through life...being involved and serving in our church {where i'm working in the children's ministry and hubs is a deacon and teaching Sunday school}, spending time with family and friends...nothing too exciting!

we just returned from 6 days in the Bahamas and it was wonderful. i love that when you're on a cruise ship you really HAVE to unplug from the craziness of life these days...no phones, voicemail, text messages, email, social media, etc. it was really the best and something that stuck out to me? i didn't miss it. obviously, i like being able to connect with friends and family in all of those ways but sometimes it's nice to turn off the "noise" and just be. spending time in the Word with the Lord, praying, reading, and just relaxing without the usual distraction and pull of every day life was something i desperately needed! this view didn't hurt things, either:

 

 

oh and time spent with this guy?

 

 

 priceless. i'm so thankful to have this man as my husband and the longer we are together, the more i love him. i think we were both so grateful for lots of time together without the every day distractions of life.



 

we also had such a great time together as a family...my mom, my sister, brother-in-law, my nephews, my niece, and my brother-in-law's mom.

 

 

on our last night we had a really special time of blessing for my nephew, Andrew. as a recent high school grad who is headed to college, all of the adults wrote letters and prayers to Andrew and it was such a sweet time encouraging, affirming, and loving Andrew.

 

today is hubs' first day back to work and so today is kind of like our first day back to regular life {even though we returned home from florida thursday night}. grocery shopping, cleaning the house, laundry, working, and cooking dinner are all on my to-do list today. bye-bye vacation and hello, real life.

 

but this...

 

won't be far from my mind today!

You are good

confession: i tend to find a certain playlist on my ipod and listen to it over and over and over {something that i've learned drives joel kind of crazy. he would rather have more musical variety}. i've been stuck on a worship playlist i created that includes songs by kari jobe and gateway worship for the past couple weeks {almost a month, maybe??}.

so as i was driving down the interstate last week i was, of course, listening to this specific playlist. i'm sure i'd heard all of the songs at least 14, 765 times at that point but that morning, the Lord used one of the songs to not to just speak to me but to flat out SHOUT out to me. the song, "you are good" by gateway worship started playing and all of a sudden, i had this flashback to the week Daddy was in the hospital.

the weeks {maybe a month or so} leading up to that very long and horrible week in october the Lord had really been dealing with me regarding His goodness but not just about the fact that He is, indeed, good but that no matter the circumstances, He is good and His plans are good. everything in my life kept bringing me back to that one thought, that one phrase, "Lord, you are good." nothing big or spectacular was happening in my life during that time. in fact, life was actually going well...i had finally gotten into the swing of things at work, joel and i were doing really well with weight watchers and working out, and life was just plugging along. for some reason, though, it seemed as though the Lord kept circling back to the same question to me in my quiet times, prayer times, etc. "do you know I am good? do you believe that My plans for you are good?" and i would always respond in the same way, "of course You are good and i believe Your plans are good."

then, october 4, 2011, our phone rang at 7:30 am and that phone call began the longest and worst week of my life. from the point we arrived at the er and found out Daddy was having a heart attack, i began praying almost non-stop. i would find myself praying for healing and for procedures to go smoothly but i would also make it a point to say to the Lord, "i know You are good and Your plans are good. i trust You." sometimes i wonder if it was as much a declaration to the Lord as a reminder to myself about His goodness.

my "flashback" last week was specifically to the night before Daddy's heart surgery. we all {the whole family} were in Daddy's ccu room and stood around his bed and went around the circle praying outloud together. i stood beside his bed and held his hand and prayed for his surgery to go well, etc. and i will never forget that at the end of my prayer, i again, told the Lord that no matter what, we know He is good, His plans for us are good, and we trust Him. little did i know how much that would be tested the next day and in the coming months.

i'm not going to lie or pretend like i've got it all together. i've had moments {moments? let's be honest...more like days, weeks, months} since that day where i have flat out told the Lord that i don't see how this situation could be good at all. or how my mom having to go through surgery for uterine cancer 3 weeks after Daddy died could be good.

i'm so glad that my feelings don't change the truth about the Lord...He is good and His plans are good even though i look back at the last 4 months and see heartache, hurt, loss, devastation. i also see His comfort, grace, mercy, and steadfast love. i've had to learn to redefine my definition of what good really is.

there's not really a great way to tie a pretty bow around this post because let's face it, i'm still in the middle of trying to understand this new definition of goodness. i'm thankful, though, to follow a God who allows me to wrestle and struggle with my questions and deals with me in a gentle and loving way. some days are messier than others but i'm learning.

i do know this...He is good and His plans are for my good even when i don't understand.

the story of us

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
we have been together since june 2006...so, that's 5 years and 8 months.

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}
we actually met several times before we "met." {i know that doesn't make sense...let me explain.} at the time i was working at hickory grove baptist as the preschool ministry director and several other staff members from our north campus kept telling me about this great guy named joel alley. my response was always, "well tell him about me and we'll see where it goes. i'm not going to chase a guy." well, they encouraged me to attend a Bible study joel taught and i did {not just to get to meet him but it was definitely a perk ;) } . he didn't notice me AT ALL. so i thought, well, this guy just isn't interested in me at all. little did i know that at that time, joel wasn't even remotely considering or looking to date anyone. i also attended several other singles events and joel alley didn't so much as look in my direction. sigh.

fast forward two years {I KNOW...and those staff members kept raving about him throughout that time} the single's minister and his wife decided to just take charge and they invited us both over to dinner at their house. we had a great time and joel even chased me out the door to get my number {shoes half on, untied and everything}. like they say, the rest is history!

3. How long have you been married?
we've been married 3 years and 3 {almost} months

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding?
we were married at my home church, parkwood baptist church, in gastonia, north carolina. i'm not really sure what qualifies a wedding as big, medium, or small but i'd say we had a big, traditional church wedding.

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!
we're not that creative as far as nicknames go...
joel's nicknames for me: baby, sweetie, sweets
my nicknames for joel: babe, hot husband {it's how he's listed in my phone contacts ;) }, hubs, my love or love, mr. safety

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
1) he is the most selfless and giving person i've ever met 2) he loves me completely and shows it through his words and actions 3) he can make me laugh like no other person...he is hilarious.

7. Tell us how he proposed?
we'd been dating for 9 months and i knew he already had the ring but he had made a big deal about wanting to wait to get engaged until we'd been together for a year. of course, i hoped he would propose sooner but he seemed pretty determined to wait until june. so, i was trying really hard to not get so excited and not to start booking reception locations, look for dresses, etc. :) the really challenging part of this situation was that joel was so excited about the ring that he kept bringing it up and wanting to talk about it...which was NOT helpful in my whole trying to not let my excitement get out of hand. so i finally had to tell him that i didn't want him to talk about the ring until he was proposing and he agreed.

the next weekend he had asked me to clear my schedule for that saturday for a day in the mountains {one of our favorite places}. so i thought...maybe he'll propose then! a picnic in the mountains sounds like a perfect proposal idea {and i was secretly hoping he was being so adamant about a june proposal to throw me off to surprise me with a proposal much sooner}!! well, i woke up saturday morning to RAIN. ugh. i'm not gonna lie, i cried and not just a few glistening tears...it was the full on ugly cry. i'm pretty sure i told my mom that i didn't think that he was ever going to propose {dramatic, much??}.

joel came to pick me up and said that he thought it would be nice to just go for a drive since it was supposed to rain all day in the mountains. i had already resigned myself to the fact that i wasn't getting engaged that day and i was trying so hard to enjoy the day and not be grumpy. we drove around for awhile {think back roads} talking and listening to music and at this point, it had stopped raining. so we stopped to grab some sandwiches for lunch and i still had no idea where we were going. we ended up at a botanical garden to have a "picnic." we had lunch and i was seriously trying to fight off the tears and not be a grumpy girl {i'm not proud of it, just being real}. after lunch joel suggested that we walk over to the orchid conservatory so that's what we did. we walked through and joel stopped at a bench in front of a beautiful water wall with orchids and everything. we sat down and he said, "i know you don't want me to talk about the ring but what if i wanted to show it to you?" {still not cluing in to what was going on...i know, i know but i had done a great job convincing myself that he wasn't going to propose} i said, "no, i don't want to see it, either...not until you're proposing." at that point, he got down on one knee, said some really amazing and beautiful things and asked me to marry him. obviously, i said yes! :-)

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne , and rose petals?
i don't really think that he is either...maybe kind of a mixture. he's a flowers, nice dinner out, and thoughtful gift kind of guy :).

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
i am definitely a pop in a movie, relax on the couch kind of girl. {i like romantic dinners but i'm not a fan of the beach. at. all.}

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
we love to travel and have been to a handful of fun places {pictured below} but we have a list of places we'd like to go; i'd love to get to be a parent with him someday {hopefully sooner than later}; i'd also really love to be able to go on a mission trip with my love someday.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
we are going to have a romantic dinner at the melting pot {one of our favorite spots}. i'm working on a surprise for hub's gift...hope he loves it!

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?
only to get to spend time with my love :)

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
after only 3 years of marriage, i definitely know that i'm not a marriage expert but first i would say that while i love, love, love being married, it's more than flowers, gushy feelings, and hearts. it's about comittment and dedication even when things are tough...it's a daily decision to love another person and put them before yourself. also, you can't expect another person to make you happy...that's not their job {and happiness really isn't the goal of the christian life but that's another post for another day ;) }. bottom line, to have a strong marriage that is full of love, you have to live by the Spirit allowing His grace, love, mercy, and compassion flow through you. i also think it's really important to laugh and laugh a lot. :-)

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.

messy

i'm not a fan of anything messy...whether it is describing a room or a difficult situation, i'm simply not a fan. you see, i'd rather have things nice and orderly tied up neatly with a pretty ribbon but that simply isn't the way things are in life right now. {for reals, though, is life ever NOT at least a little messy?}

messy. i think i'm pretty good at looking put together on the outside but the inside on most days? messy. it's been four months since i last blogged {almost to the day} and it's been four months since my life and my family's life was turned completely upside down.

i've followed Jesus for 26 years and have walked through challenges, difficulties, and struggles before but i've never had to face anything like this. i'm going to be honest {why stop now, right?;) } that it's the hardest thing i've ever dealt with to this point in my life. sometimes {most times} i'd rather keep the messy stuff to myself and most times that's appropriate, but sometimes it spills out on the "pages" of this blog and i'm learning to be okay with that. i'm learning to be okay with messy. this journey we call life? it's messy and if we're going to live it, we're going to have to face those difficult situations and challenges.

so here i am, four months {almost to the day} later and i'm still pretty broken and raw from everything my family and i have walked through, but the Lord has been so gracious, patient, loving, compassionate, and merciful to me. over and over i end up before Him with my hands outstretched offering up "the mess" because i've learned first hand that He is close to the brokenhearted . can i say that i'm thankful for these trials? i can't say that i'm there, yet, but i am so completely thankful for the Lord's goodness and patience while i've wrestled and struggled through all of this.

a lot of things have been uncertain over the last four months but there are several things that are certain. my God has been faithful, gracious, merciful, and compassionate as i've faced this messy, difficult journey.

praise Him...He is good.

my daddy

my daddy went to be with Jesus two nights ago. that's hard for my mind to comprehend right now, much less see it in print on the computer screen. it was sudden, unexpected, and the most difficult thing i have had to face in my life up to this point.

i'm a daddy's girl so obviously i think he was the best and most incredible husband, father, papaw {or poppy}, uncle, co-worker, friend that you could ever have. i think, though, if you knew him, you would agree with me. he was absolutely incredible. i've known for awhile that not every girl has a daddy like mine and i've been aware of how blessed i was to be able to call jim grayson my daddy. so i wanted to take a second and write about Daddy so you could get to know more about him if you didn't know him personally. {plus, he was amazing and i just want to talk about him. i love him so much.}

one of the most important lessons i learned from Daddy was that our faith is real...following Jesus every day is what life is all about. i didn't just see my daddy attend church on Sunday morning and then put his Bible on the shelf for a week until the next Sunday...he lived what he believed. any time i had a problem or a question, Daddy's solution was to always look to Scripture to see what God had to say about that particular problem or question. in fact, any time i approached him with a worry, concern, or problem he would always say to me, "it's going to be alright baby girl" and then he would guide me to Scripture that applied to the situation. he loved Jesus with all his heart and it was evident in his daily life. i was also blessed to have the opportunity to see first hand what a Godly marriage looks like. Daddy adored my mom and loved her with a selfless love. he truly fulfilled the role as the spiritual leader of our family but he led with such a kind, quiet, and gentle spirit. i have been able to walk through life with an understanding of the love of my Heavenly Father because of my earthly father.

Daddy loved his family and i believe {and other people have since confirmed} that anyone who knew Daddy knew that his family was his top priority after his relationship with Jesus. he was always there...chorus concerts, ball games, special events, math homework in the evenings {math was his strength--definitely not mine!} around the kitchen table, family vacations, major and minor emergencies. if it involved his family, Daddy was there no matter what. i always knew that Daddy felt that no matter the activity, the time that we were spending together was priceless. Daddy didn't just spend time with me, my mom, and my sister...our whole family was important to him. He was like a second Daddy to many of my cousins.

in the last few days, we've also had the opportunity to hear about what Daddy was like at work and i'm not surprised by what we've heard. everyone {literally everyone} loved and adored him. Daddy made a huge impact on the people with whom he worked and one major thing that stands out to me is that he lived out his faith in his interactions with his co-workers. we've also heard about what an incredibly gifted engineer Daddy was and that he was an integral part of his company.

i am beyond grateful that the Lord allowed me to have 32 years with jim grayson and i am crushed that my time with him is over for now. my Daddy faithfully followed Jesus and while i am devasted at my loss, i am full of joy because of all Daddy has gained. he is in heaven doing what God created Daddy to do...worship the Lord forever.

well hello there, august!

we've had a fabulous summer here in the alley household...so much so that we've had no time to blog and now i'm going to attempt to recap all of the fabulousness in one post.

june

hubs birthday: we celebrated with his family, my family, and then just the two of us. it still makes me chuckle just a bit that when we met he didn't want anyone to acknowledge his birthday (so much so that he even refused to list his birthday in our church database...something i learned when i called him from work--our church--when we were engaged to tell him that i updated his information to include his birthday. i assumed it had been an error...not so much :-) but he married someone who LOVES birthdays. i don't just love my birthday but i love celebrating the birthdays of those i love. i've learned to scale the celebrations back (unless it's something he wants to do) and he has learned to let me celebrate him by enjoying our "birthday week" or "birthday weekend" celebrations. this year as part of our "birthday week" celebration, we rented a boat and spent the day on the lake. (we also spent 2 days without air conditioning and working to get it fixed but that was a slight pause in the celebration.) we had such an incredible day and plan to make it an annual tradition for his birthday. (i can't believe i don't have ANY pictures of any birthday celebrations...we were having too much fun to remember to take pictures!


marissa's going away party: i hope marissa felt like her party was fabulous! i wanted to use bright, fun colors in the theme so i picked a lemon/lime/orange theme and decorated with fruit in glass cylinders and really was able to carry the color scheme through every last detail of the party. it was my prayer that marissa would feel loved and celebrated by those who are closest to her and i think she did. we had a wonderful time chatting and being together and then ended the night lifting her up in prayer.


vbs:marissa's party was the 18th and vbs started on the 20th. yeah, it's safe to say we were quite tired in the alley house during this particular week! part of my responsibilities this year with vbs included leading the preschool worship rally. we had SO MUCH fun every night and by friday night, my little preschoolers were ready to perform the theme song to big apple adventure! they did such a great job. it's such a catchy tune. btw, hubs and i will deny it, of course, but you might just catch a glimpse of us driving around town doing the motions and singing along to the bi-bi-bi, bi-bi-bi, big apple adventure!

july

vacation!!: after such a crazy busy schedule in june, hubs and i were definitely so relieved when our annual summer vacation with my family rolled around. my family has a tradition where we all go on vacation together every summer and i love it. it's not always just my parents and my sister's family...in years past we've vacationed with aunts, uncles, and cousins, too. honestly, i just assumed all families vacationed together like this until several years ago when i realized that we're more of an exception to the rule but i love it. we are a super close family and we enjoy being together. i've been waay blessed that my hubs loves and adores my family and has just as much fun on these vacations as i've ever had. my mom and dad were blessed with two amazing sons-in-law! (and i'd argue that my hubs and bro-in-law were blessed with some pretty amazing parents-in-law!) anyway, off that rabbit trail and back to vacation! i can truly say that this beach trip was one of the best that i can remember. we rented an ah-mazing house on emerald isle and we truly spent the week resting, relaxing, and having fun being together. emerald isle isn't as commercialized (it isn't really at all) as some beaches so there's really not a lot to do but that did not bother us! we all practically lived in our bathing suits by the pool or in the house in our pj's. i think we went out in the evening twice. we actually all decided to go ahead and reserve the same house for next year because we loved it so much! needless to say, we were sad when vacation ended and it was time to head back home.


new job: yes, that's for me...not hubs! a job opportunity presented itself to me during vbs and i was super excited to accept it! i'm the new preschool resources coordinator for our church. it's a part time position and i absolutely love it! the week i returned from vacation, i spent time learning the ropes and the next week, it was all mine! i plan for and prep all the supplies for the preschool ministry on sunday mornings (and will also do this for special events...teacher training, vbs, camp), coordinate Cut Ups (a group of volunteers who meet together every week to help prep the supplies for Sunday school...cutting, counting, sorting, etc) with the elementary resource coordinator, and write the lesson plans for the preschool Sunday school classes. oh. my. word. i love it!! (oh and in case you were wondering....this means no more substitute teaching for me!)


girl time: my dear friend, stephanie, visited for a week and we had such an amazing time together! we met while we were in seminary and i actually lived with stephanie and her parents on the weekends and during the summer while we both worked at prestonwood. we had such a blast hanging out, shopping, eating, and talking! i'm lucky that all of my close friends love my hubs so we all enjoy hanging out together. i was sad to see steph leave (she started a campaign trying to convince hubs to transfer to his company's dallas office but i don't think she was completely successful) but hubs and i are already planning a trip to the big d in december.


beth moore: steph and i were fortunate enough to get to spend the weekend with beth (well, and 9400 of our closest friends ;-) while she was here. i don't say this lightly but the weekend was truly amazing. i don't mean that it was all rainbows and butterflies but it was good...in the God was all up in my business sort of way. you know where you're uncomfortable but it's a good type of uncomfortable because you know the Lord is speaking and working in your life. we also had such a fun friday night. we rented a hotel room in downtown charlotte and my sister joined us. we laughed and had room service and went to bed waaay too late for the early hour that we had to get up. it was worth it, though. i was also so excited for my sister (she served as one of the city coordinators who worked an entire year here in charlotte to help make the conference happen) because she got to meet beth and have her picture taken with her and the rest of the committee. she worked hard helping to make the conference a success and looked super cute (and good hair to boot!) in her picture with beth.


well, that about wraps up the highlights from the last two months. for the most part, we've had a good summer. even though it's been a good summer is anyone else wishing fall would arrive....pronto???

an alley fam update...numbers edition

here's an update on the alleys in numbers...

41...days since i last blogged.

32...years i've lived without ever having seen any of the star wars movies, until now.

24...pansies that did not survive in my flower pots this spring. i have no idea what happened and why they didn't survive but since they're typically pretty tough flowers i'm thinking it's not looking good for the geraniums i'm planting this week. i definitely did NOT inherit my mom's green thumb!

18...preschoolers sang their hearts out at our hymns 4 Him night of worship which was presented by our preschool and children's choirs. they were fabulous!

17...family members who participated in family pictures. both sides of our families (the graysons and the alleys) had family photo sessions within two weeks of each other. fun times :).

14...days until hubs' birthday. less than that, actually if you consider that we don't just celebrate a day but we have birthday weekends or birthday weeks in my family!

11...people (including 2 puppies) hubs and i hosted for a mother's day dinner for my mom and sis. they (mom and sis) are the best...ever. we had a blast and some super yummy food (if i do say so myself ;).

6...months until my birthday. i got to "celebrate" my first ever half birthday this month...it was hubs' idea and totally a lot of fun.

3...critters (2 japanese beetles and 1 caterpillar) ingested by our puppy (that caused some major tummy troubles...if you catch my drift) which led to a vet visit (x-rays, blood work, iv fluids, and two medicines) and a diagnosis of gastritis and dehydration. we had an interesting week last week but thank goodness she is all better now! we are quite vigilent in making sure she doesn't eat anymore BUGS! she definitely has a sensitive tummy like her mama.

2...more episodes of biggest loser for this season. hubs and i have really enjoyed watching this particular cast mostly because they're not into the "game play" thing. i'm glad that they all genuinely seem to want to be there to, you know, lose weight.

1...more month after this month with my bff until she moves to peru. sniff.