the path of the righteous is level; O upright One,
You make the way of the righteous smooth.
yes, LORD, walking in the way of Your laws, we wait for You;
Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.
My soul yearns for You in the night;
in the morning my spirit longs for You. ~isaiah 26:7-9a
hubs and i feel as though we're in a very important place in our lives and in our walk with Christ. i've had someone even point out that it sounds as though we're in a "crisis of belief." if you're familiar with blackaby's experiencing God this will make sense to you. if not, blackaby defines a crisis of belief as “a crisis of belief is not a calamity in your life but a turning point where you must make a decision. you must decide what you truly believe about God.” in addition to blackably's quote, i thought this summary from another blog was great, "we all face opportunities to increase in faith. the problem is that often those moments don’t feel like opportunities at all. they are times when we must grow, when we must believe, when we must step out and trust that God will go before us, that He will step with us and that He will carry us every moment of the journey. these moments can be scary at first simply because they are new. they often take us completely out of our comfort zone and even test our belief system." whew. that pretty much sums up where j and i both feel we are at this moment. God is doing some big stuff in our lives regarding our relationship with Him and i am most often astounded and just flat on my face overwhelmed that He has been so good to us to continually confirm the steps that we should take.
does this mean we have any specific answers right now? ummmm. no, we don't. i can say this, though, i have honestly never been in a more exciting or thrilling time in my life with my relationship with Him. the fact that we don't have clarity on most things in our life right now pales in comparision to hearing from Him and growing in my knowledge of Him. He has, though, confirmed to us that we are walking in the right direction even though we're taking some small baby steps because we are waiting on His instructions...not our own.
does this mean that i don't sometimes get distracted by fear and uncertainty? i wish i could say that i am in a constant state of trusting Him 100% of the time but i'm just not always in that place. i'm human + not a very patient person + wanting everything organized, planned, and details mapped out = not a great equation for always trusting. i have asked the Lord to refine me and thankfully, He is at work in my life regarding these (and a myriad of other) imperfections. i have to tell you that His goodness and graciousness overwhelms me because in my moments of fear, anxiety, and doubt, He has provided Truth from His word to sustain me. my Scripture memory verse for this week?
He is your constant source of stability; He abundantly provides safety and
great wisdom; He gives all this to those who fear Him. ~isaiah 33:6
see? simply amazing.
does this mean that our lives will go through some huge change? maybe...i don't really know. i think the real key to all of this is that we are willing to do whatever He asks of us and we are willing to go wherever He would ask us to go. perhaps He just wants us to be in a place of willingness or perhaps He has something else for us.
"in his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." ~proverbs 16:9
so what's the plan? we wait and we continue to ask that He refine our wants and desires to fully align with His. for someone like me who struggles with a lack of patience and always wants to know what's going on, the process of waiting can seem almost impossible. frustrating. irritating. confusing. a waste of time. it doesn't have to be that way, though. i'm sure that you can just twiddle your thumbs and wait or stare at the sky waiting on the Lord to give you numbered directions and a complete outline in neon letters but i wouldn't recommend it. i heard beth moore teach on psalm 37 last august and something she said that back then didn't fully resound in my heart until now (i found it in my notes the other day). she pointed out that while we are to wait patiently on the Lord it does not mean that we are to passively wait. saying or reading that phrase doesn't make waiting easier or better but it does encourage me to be active while i'm waiting...seek the Lord, pour out my heart to Him, sit quietly and listen to Him. more than anything, i want to be able to say to Him, "yes, Lord" to whatever He asks.
God is God. because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience.
I will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to. ~ Elisabeth Elliot