Thursday, September 17, 2009

we have a lot in common...minus the cool name

i've known this day was coming for about a month and a half now but can i just confess to you that i'm not quite sure i'm ready for it. today is my last day in the office at work {sunday is my last official day but today is my last "in the office" day} and i can't even begin to describe my emotions. i'm sad, nervous, excited, overwhelmed {hello...i've known i was leaving since august 11 but i've yet to really pack anything?! can we say a mixture of being super busy and maybe some denial?!}, and anxious to see what the Lord is going to do. none of these emotions cancel out my complete assurance and peace that i'm doing exactly what the Lord has called me to do but it doesn't mean it's not hard.

in fact, sometimes {who am i kidding, most times} obedience is difficult but it is worth it. that little fact seems to be the lesson of the month {or month and a half} for me. you see, somewhere along the way i'd forgotten that obedience isn't always easy {stunning revelation, i know} but God doesn't promise an easy life, does He? don't get me wrong, our life is very blessed and we are more thankful than we can express for all that the Lord has done and is doing in our lives but all these changes are still hard. sitting here this morning thinking about obedience and all of it's challenges, the Lord reminded me of a guy named abram. in genesis 12 God gave abram the command to "go" but that's all He gave maps, no details, no gps, just pack up and go. can you imagine?

i can. i know that i'm no abram :) but i do feel as though i can identify with him just a smidge. i know, clearly as i'm sitting here typing, that the Lord was very clear that it is time to pack up and go from the place i've been for the last 5 1/2 yrs and i don't know the next step of my journey. i think one of the most important truths to which i have been clinging is that i may not know the details of the next steps of my journey but i DO know the God that is leading me and i can trust Him.
God is God. because He is God, He is worthy of my trust and obedience. i will find rest nowhere but in His holy will, a will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to. ~ elisabeth elliot



ThreeGirlyGirls said...

Oh girl...I am sad that you are sad...but I totally get what you are saying. Obedience is a hard road to walk. I can't wait to see where the Lord leads you and I am praying for you!

Cari said...

praying for you! i know these next few days will be mixed with so many emotions. love ya.