the messier side of things

i have a lot of things floating around in my head right now and i'm fighting the desire i have to set them aside and write the post that i had already been formulating in my head over the last few days. why would i do that? well, that post would probably be much more organized and a little less "messy." i'm not a big fan of messy...i'd rather you think that things are always together all the time but that's not real life now, is it? by messy i don't mean that things are horrible or falling apart but more that i have some more questions than i do answers right now and i don't have everything figured out. shocking, i know. but i promised myself a few months ago that i wouldn't censor {within reason} what i blogged about just because it might be messy or not be as "together" as i'd like.

so, i'm going to go against my desire for everything to be "always together" and just type. i will promise to do my best and edit my thoughts just so they make some sort of sense ;) i can't get too crazy now, can i? to give the post a little bit of order, i'll give each little section it's own header or title. {just can't leave messy alone now, can i?}

patience: lately it seems as though i have been running short on patience or maybe lately is the wrong word...perhaps i've always been a little {or a lot} short on patience and i am just realizing it more as of late. i'm not good with waiting and right now it seems as though the answer to a lot of things in life right now is.........wait. bleh.

genuine friendships: i've been disappointed lately {within the last year} by some friendships i've had in my life that i would have labeled as a genuine friendship {and by that, i mean a real friendship...one that is going to last} but due to circumstances changing {distance, frequency of being together, etc} they've just completely died. one thing i do know is that not everyone is meant to be a lifetime friend but it doesn't make those friendships ending any easier. i do know that friendships go both ways and i'm certainly not perfect {far from it} but it's just part of what i've been processing and thinking about lately in my own life.

real life: while i've been sad that some friendships haven't seemed to make it through life's changes and real life, i do have some very important friends in my life that even though the Lord has taken us down different paths and directions, His bond has remained between us and it is the sweetest thing. one of those friends, nikki, i've known since junior high school...can you believe that? i still remember enduring our 9th grade typing class together and thinking that life was just coming to an end when we were transitioning from junior high {gulp} to high school. life has certainly "happened" for both of us and for a while, we lost touch. several years ago we reconnected and while she has been busy with her family {a husband and 3 children} and i have been busy with seminary, work, and getting married we have managed to get together when we can and just share life with each other. two months ago another lifelong friend from junior high {courtney}, nikki, and i were able to get together and share with each other over coffee. the Lord began a bond between the three of us way back in 10th grade and a desire to do ministry and missions that has never faded. it's interesting to see that even through all the "stuff" of life, those deep down passions and desires the Lord places in your heart don't die...it may not end up the way you would picture it to be but He gives us those desires for a reason and it's amazing and beautiful to see how He works those things out in our lives. the three of us got together to talk through some of those old desires to do ministry together to see if the Lord was maybe bringing us together to bring that to pass....it's funny, though, we never had the opportunity to talk through that specifically that morning. we spent our time talking about life and how God has moved and shown up on our behalf. we shed some tears talking about His goodness and i believe He began knitting our hearts together again that morning. this past week, i heard from nikki that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. to say that my heart has been heavy is a tremendous understatement. i'll be honest to say that i don't understand what the Lord is doing and my heart has been broken over this but any and every time that my sadness or grief seems overwhelming, i have made it a point to stop whatever i'm doing and just lay it down before the Lord. so, if you're reading this, would you commit to pray for nikki? she has a very long and difficult road ahead of her...pray for her, her husband, and her 3 children. real life can be hard to swallow sometimes, don't you think? i am grateful, though, that the Lord is steady and sure...the stability of our times.

ministry: when i resigned back in september, i had no idea as to what the Lord was doing and why in the world He was leading me to step away from that particular job. i think, at first, i was just relieved to get to be a newlywed! there were lots of things at home that had been on my "to-do" list for months that just never made it to the top of the priority list and it was nice to have time to get those things done. pampered chef was a fun little stint in the middle of that time...it was great to meet new people AND i was able to get lots and lots of incredible products for incredible deals. after my daddy's surgery in november, our anniversary and christmas in december, i'll be honest to say that january was rough. all of a sudden, all of the busyness of life had stopped and i realized i was staying at home. full. time. and i missed my old job. thankfully, my hubs was {and still is} amazing...he would continually remind me of the word we heard from the Lord and reassure me that the path we were on was one that was from Him and not one we created on our own. it hasn't been easy because i don't feel like i'm finished with full time ministry...actually the exact opposite is true...i have a deep desire and longing to be right there in the middle of fulltime ministry but for now, the Lord has asked me to wait. ugh. there's that word again ;). i don't know what He is doing...hubs and i have some suspicions but we will have to wait and see. all i know is that His timing and plan is perfect. i don't see the big picture right now but that's okay...i know i'm walking where He has led me and the hardest part is not running ahead beyond where I know I'm supposed to be.

i think i could probably keep typing {i've held some of this in for quite awhile...remember how i said i didn't like "messy"?} but i'll stop myself now. my goal is to blog a little more consistently so that i don't write a book every time i post. oh, and if you read all of this, bless you....that's 10 minutes of your life you'll never get back.

the stability of your times...

the LORD is exalted, for He dwells on high; He has filled zion with justice and righteousness. and He will be the stability of your times, a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is his treasure. ~ isaiah 33:5-6

He will be the stability of your times...

when you have more questions in life than answers and you simply don't understand.

He will be the stability of your times...

when your heart is heavy and so completely overwhelmed with worry and sadness.

He will be the stability of your times...

when you can only see as far down life's path as the last direction that He gave you.

He will be the stability of your times...

always and forever.

well hello there!

hello there, blog world! it's been awhile, i know but it's not because we've had a lack of things happening in our little corner of world but mostly due to my hand surgery {i'm so glad my hand doesn't seem to hate me when i type anymore!} and partly due to being so stinking busy!

if you know me at all, you know that i heart making a list so to celebrate that little part of my ocd personality, i'm going to format my welcome back blog in list form. you're welcome...i know you're excited.

so here's what has been happening in our life over the last few weeks...

• hand surgery: well, it wasn't awful. it wasn't nearly as bad as the big toe surgery of '07 . there were some funny and entertaining {for those around me...not necessarily funny or entertaining to me} moments that were directly related to pain medicine. my hand isn't quite back to 100% but i'd say it's back to 85 %. the awesome thing is that all of my carpal tunnel symptoms are completely gone. it's so nice not to wake up in the middle of the night to numb hands {i do have carpal tunnel in my left hand but it's not nearly as bad as it was in my right hand so we're trying some other things to try to avoid surgery}.
• easter: since i was in college, i have made an effort to attend the various holy week services that churches offer. i think it can be easy to overlook the week of holy week and just focus on sunday morning (which is important, don't get me wrong) but to me, sunday means so much more when i take time that week to remember what happened in the days leading up to the empty tomb. so, we had the opportunity to do just that...joel and i enjoyed attending my aunt's church for their maundy thursday and good friday services. sunday morning i'm happy to report i had more than enough volunteers to staff the 2's and 3's sunday school rooms {praise the Lord!!} and then we had such a fun time with my family that afternoon. we did take pictures but since hubs and i forgot our camera {oops} they're on my dad's camera and i keep forgetting to have him send them to me. if they're good pics, i'll post them soon ;).
• real estate: so, our house is on the market and things are going well. we've had lots of activity and a couple return showings. our realtor is really the best ever :) and we love her to pieces. we have also been working through the process of picking out lots and floorplans because we're pretty sure that we will build our next house.
• seattle: bleh. hubs has been out of town since monday and won't return until this weekend and i miss him terribly. he's attending an escalation engineer summit and i'm so proud of him. he doesn't toot his own horn {ever} but since he's away i'm going to take a second to brag on him. he truly does such an incredible job...so much so that the developers of the product he supports have openly admitted that he is the expert and the "go-to" man on that product. he works so incredibly hard and more than anything, i know that he does his work with excellence and integrity to honor the Lord. i'm thankful that the Lord has given him a heart and an opportunity to be salt and light in his workplace. i will admit, though, i'm ready for him to come home.
• who, me?: what have i been doing with my time lately? besides getting the house ready to go on the market {and keeping it "show ready" 24/7} and recovering from surgery, i've been a busy girl. we are in the middle of recruiting vbs teachers and sunday school teachers for the new year at church and as always, it's a challenge but i really enjoy it. i have also had the opportunity to do some teacher training sessions for a local day care/mother's day out and i have an upcoming workshop to teach for a local baptist association's vbs training. i'm also having a special pampered chef "party" online right now. if you're interested in pampered chef products, leave me a comment or email me and i'll give you details on how to place an order on my website and receive free shipping. it's worth it, i promise! :)

as far as updates go, i think i've covered everything :) and quite possibly bored you to death. now that typing doesn't kill my hand, blogging will rotate back on my "to-do" list.

rejoicing!

"the angel said to the women, "do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. come and see the place where He lay. then go quickly and tell His disciples: He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into galilee." ~matthew 28:5-7

He is risen. He is risen, indeed! i believe that remembering the steps Christ walked through holy week to the cross make sunday that much sweeter. how blessed are we that we serve a risen Lord and Savior! i am excited about church today, about celebrating with long time believers and hopefully having lots of opportunities to introduce the story of the cross and the resurrection to those who have never heard it before. can you imagine something more exciting?

i remember when i was a little girl, we used to sing a song that basically talked about every day for a believer is resurrection day and that the excitement we have on easter is ours for every day of our lives. i've given myself a challenge: to look at every day through the perspective of the power of the cross AND the empty tomb.

He is risen!! He is risen, indeed!

*post originally published april 11, 2009*